Self-Introduction Email to Professor Blackstone
To: brad.blackstone@singaporetech.edu.sg
From: 2002560@sit.singaporetech.edu.sg
SUBJECT: Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Aung Myat Moe Donald, a first-year
civil engineering student from seminar group 6 of your effective communication
class, and I am writing to introduce myself to you.
I lived in Myanmar before attending Pioneer Primary School in 2009. Given the political instability of my home country, my family had decided to send me abroad to Singapore so that I would be able to receive a world-class education. My most recent academic milestone is attaining the Diploma in Civil Engineering with Business from Singapore Polytechnic (SP) in 2020.
A character from my favourite television show "How I Met Your Mother" named Ted Mosby, who was an architect, largely influenced 16-year-old me to ponder about how skyscrapers were built. As mathematics was my strongest subject at the time, it was not long before I came to the realization that I wanted to specialize in engineering with regards to buildings. During my third year at SP, I was elected to lead a key strategic project regarding the structural design of a 2-storey bungalow, and this experience piqued my passion in structural engineering and design. Since then, I have been adamant about working on private residential projects in my future career due to the accompanying benefits and challenges. To achieve my goal, I do realize that I need to be able to build and maintain meaningful relationships. With that being said, I am currently being held back by my frequent hesitation during conversations or presentations. This can often give off the impression that I am an unclear communicator. On the other hand, emotional intelligence can be regarded as one of my communication strengths. For instance, I always try to remain calm during disputes with my family members to find out the reason for their distress. By understanding people’s emotions, I can empathise with them and communicate effectively.
Apart from learning about your past
experiences from around the world, I hope to overcome my communication weakness
through this class. I also look forward to becoming a more engaging speaker, so
that I can leave a valuable impression on people I interact with.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this email, and please feel free to ask any additional questions when we meet!
Yours sincerely,
Aung Myat Moe Donald
CVE1281 Group 6
Revised on 08/04/2021
(Feedback given for the introductions of Nicholas, Pin Kiat and Randall.)
In terms of content, it is concise and clear. Well done! However, in terms of grammatical tense, in paragraph 2 first sentence, “I had been living” I think it should be “I lived”. Other than that, the letter is very well written and coherent.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback, Dzuhair! I have amended the mistake as pointed out by you and sincerely hope that you will continue to offer me more aid with your keen eye for my future writings.
DeleteDear Donald,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this fluent, detailed introductory letter. You cover the parameters of the assignment and illustrate with some clear examples so that it is quite informative. I'm particularly impressed by the methodical explanation of your educational journey. At the same time, I'd like to know why you opted to come to Singapore for your education rather than remain in Myanmar and how you developed an interest in engineering.
You do a good job developing each of the other segments of this post. Your honest self assessment is welcome. In terms of language use, there is only one odd phrase:
-- due to the specific benefits and challenges that entail them. > (Word meaning: Entail them?) ?
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Prof Brad,
DeleteYour invaluable feedback is greatly appreciated. I shall continue to improve on both this writing and future ones. With assistance from you and my peers, I believe I can become the exemplary communicator I envisioned to be.
Thank you once again!
Best regards,
Donald
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Donald, I enjoyed reading your letter. The flow of the letter is consistent and clear. Thanks for sharing with us about your story, cheers!
ReplyDeleteIt warms my heart to hear that this letter was enjoyable for you, Pin Kiat. Thank you for your honest feedback, and I hope we will be able to work together well in the days to come!
DeleteDear Donald,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your letter, and realised we have actually graduated from the same secondary school! Regarding to the content of the letter, I believe it coincides well with the 7Cs and are well detailed throughout the letter. However, i would wish to get to know more details on your third year project and how it piqued your interest in civil engineering.
I look forward to reading more of your writings through the term!
Best regards,
Nicholas
Hi Nicholas, what a small world we live in! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading my letter, as I too had a great time reading yours. Thank you for also taking the time to provide me with conducive feedback.
DeleteHello Donald,
ReplyDeleteIt was a pleasure reading your letter. I got to know you a little better than before and I really enjoyed your honesty in the self assessment segment. Your letter covers the 7Cs marvelously and I would love to see more of your writings in the future.
Regards,
Cayden
Sorry for the delayed response, Cayden. I truly appreciate the feedback and hope that my future writings will provide you with the same satisfaction as well!
Delete